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Resentment In Marriage: The Causes, The Effects, And The Solution

5 July 2016 by Timmothy Miles

Resentment in a marriage is quite common, yet it can be one of the most destructive elements present in a relationship. If you feel angry with your spouse all the time and feel like your marriage isn't fair or good, you may be living with resentment. If this is the case, you may want to find out why you feel this way, the negative effects it can lead to, and how to fix this problem.

What Causes Resentment In A Marriage?

Resentment is an emotion that makes people feel angry and sad. It can be caused by many things, but it typically makes a person feel as though they have been wronged in ways that are very bad. In marriage, resentment is often the result of one of the following things:

• Unmet needs
• The inability for a spouse to understand the other one's feelings
• Rejection or betrayal
• Lies and broken promises
• Being treated poorly

When you face one or more of these problems in your marriage, you may start off feeling disappointed, but the feelings will typically grow from there. From the disappointment, you may soon feel angry about the issues, and this is when resentment begins to form.

What Can Resentment Lead To?

When one spouse feels resentment towards the other, that spouse may begin to treat the other one poorly. He or she may begin withholding information or acts of service from the other spouse, and this can cause the other one to feel resentment.

This is a vicious cycle that does not end until the resentment is gone, and getting rid of resentment is not easy. It is easier to do, though, if you deal with it in a timely manner rather than waiting for it to get to a point where it is almost beyond repair.

How Can You Get Rid Of Resentment?

If you want a better marriage, you will need to learn how to deal with the resentment you feel, and this is often easier to do with the help of a marriage counselor. Releasing resentment does not always seem fair or right, but it is the healthiest option you have. It will require forgiving your spouse and possibly lowering your expectations. It may also require telling your spouse exactly why you feel the way you do and asking him or her to work on this with you.

Resentment can destroy a marriage, but you can stop this from happening by seeking professional help. To learn more, contact a marriage counselor like those found at Associates For Counseling & Psychotherapy today. 

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